"Dan. Wake up."
"Mgmf."
"Danny."
"...Casey?"
"That would be me."
"I thought you were my mom."
"I'm not."
"Well, I see that now."
"You slept here?"
"I do recall lying down for a small bit of shut-eye...eleven hours ago."
"You slept here."
"I fell *asleep,* it wasn't premeditated or anything, why are you making such a big thing about this?"
"You had that thing with Abby."
"Yes."
"And we, uh, made up."
"Yes."
"And the show was saved."
"This is great, you know, you should have a career in recapping sports or something."
"Danny. Is this about Rebecca?"
"Well, now that you've run down the list I can safely say that it is none of the above. But I thank you for your concern."
"So you're okay?"
"Aside from having a sudden and desperate need for a chiropractor, yeah."
"A breath mint wouldn't hurt, either."
"Again, Casey, your concern for me is touching."
"You're sure nothing's wrong? Because I'm here, if you need--"
"A manly heart-to-heart?"
"Someone to lean on, I was going to say."
"Casey. Please do not tempt me with such irresistible temptations to burst into song this early in the morning."
"Entice."
"Huh?"
"You used the word 'tempt' twice in one sentence. I thought you might need some help with that."
"Well, let me know if you need help with the whole 'word nerd' thing, okay? I don't know that I want to associate the word 'entice' with you anyway."
"Mm, someone's cranky this morning."
"Someone else is going to get my foot up their ass if they don't stop being so damn..."
"Oh, am I playing 'senior camp counselor' role again? I'm sorry, I know how much that annoys you."
"Casey, you know I didn't mean that. I was just..."
"I know, I know. Sorry I brought it up...you wanna go home and wash up or something? I'll cover for you at the run-down meeting."
"Yeah, I'm gonna. Do that."
"Okay."
"Thanks."
"Yeah, it's...yeah."
*
"Where's Dan?"
"Reports of his whereabouts have not yet been confirmed, but I suspect he will appear shortly."
"You don't *know?*"
"I'm not his keeper, Dana! In fact, I specifically asked *not* to be given that duty after the *last* time he wandered off, as you may recall."
"And *I* recall specifically ignoring you because *I'm* sure as hell not going to deal with the messes he gets himself into."
"Well, he said he'd be back soon, okay? He's just taking a shower."
"...taking a shower."
"Yes."
"Dare I ask *why?*"
"He slept in the office. Dana, I think..."
"But he'll be here soon?"
"Yes."
"Okay. Write your script."
"Whatever you say."
"Danny'll be fine. He's in therapy."
"Dana..."
"Write, Casey!"
"Yeah, yeah."
*
"Hey, Casey."
"Hey, Jeremy."
"Um."
"Did you want something?"
"I just wanted to, uh, run something by you."
"Yeah?"
"Something that's been bothering me lately."
"What's that?"
"Quo Vadimus."
"They bought our network, saved our show, and they're still bothering you? What, do you want them to start paying your rent?"
"No--though that'd be nice. My problem isn't with the company so much as the name."
"Quo Vadimus."
"That's it right there."
"Oh?"
"It should be 'Wadimus.'"
"And this has been bothering you."
"Romans didn't have 'v's, Casey."
"I never took Latin. French, German, Spanish, no Latin."
"May I ask why?"
"I don't know, it always just seemed kind of dorky."
"Oh. *Well* then."
"Oh, go away."
*
"Hey, you're back. You look...clean."
"And indeed I am. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to start a new day."
"It's after one. The day is far from new, Danny."
"It's a shortened day--even better."
"Danny, are you sure..."
"I'm *fine.* Stop harassing me about my life. That's my job in this relationship."
"We don't have a relationship."
"A friendship is a *type* of relationship, Casey. What should I be working on?"
"Here."
"Thanks. Did anyone ask about me?"
"Dana did."
"What did you tell her?"
"That I'm not your keeper?"
"Huh. You're not? I'll have to ask Kim to do it then."
"Even though she's not your secretary."
"It's a completely different thing, Casey."
"All right then."
"All right then. We should write, now."
"That we should."
"...Casey?"
"Please don't tell me you have writers block."
"No, no I don't."
"I haven't heard any typing going on over there."
"I was contemplating."
"Contemplating the fact that you having no script will make for an interesting show?"
"No, look, I'm writing, okay?"
"That was gibberish."
"Casey. For the last time. You can *not* tell what I'm typing just by listening."
"Right...what were you going to say?"
"Huh?"
"The thing you were going to say, that seemed to be entirely unrelated to the work we're supposed to be doing."
"You're interrupting the creative process, Casey."
"So. Never mind, then?"
"Yeah."
*
"This show sucks."
"Well..."
"Natalie, Dan looks like the walking dead."
"Casey looks fine."
"Casey looks like a bucket-headed farm boy."
"Someone's cranky tonight."
"I think the new Quo Wadimus logo is looking quite nice."
"It's not a logo, it's a graphic."
"It's a logo."
"It's a graphic."
"It's a logo *of* a graphic."
"Thank you, Kim, for stopping that in its tracks before it ended in blood."
"We wouldn't have...oh, I get it."
"She's a little cranky."
"Sixty seconds back."
"Danny, you want some coffee or something?"
"I'm awake."
"Maybe he's depressed."
"He's in therapy."
"He looks depressed."
"I'm not depressed!"
"This show *sucks.*"
*
"So."
"Oh, don't start."
"You wanna go out for drinks or something?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"Well, I'm going to be watching you to make sure you don't fall asleep anywhere untoward, so."
"Great. Great."
*
"So."
"Look, I'm just gonna spit this out, okay?"
"Sure, go ahead, I'm listening."
"Uh."
"What?"
"Casey, this is the whole problem."
"What is?"
"You have your hand on my knee."
"That's the problem."
"Yes."
"You have knee-related personal space issues, that's the problem."
"No. Look. I didn't want to leave."
"Yeah, I--"
"But I was sitting around, thinking about it, because I figured maybe it really would be for the best if I got used to the idea.
"And I thought, Laker girls. Sunshine, fresh air..."
"I'm familiar with the list, yes."
"But you wouldn't be there."
"Yeah."
"And after awhile, that almost started to sound like a good thing too."
"...oh."
"Casey. It's not. You woke me up this morning and you've been mother-henning me all day. And you just put your hand on my knee. Therein lies the problem."
"I'm sorry, I didn't--"
"At least, over there, Casey, there'd be a whole *continent* between your hand and my knee, and I wouldn't have to feel like this all the time."
"I'm--"
"You *smolder* at me in the office! I know you're not doing it on purpose but the subtext in there can get a little thick."
"I smolder?"
"Yes."
"I never knew."
"Well. Now you know."
"Um."
"You don't, uh, have to say anything about this. Really. In fact, total silence would serve me best right now. You wanna talk about the Mets?"
"No. You're not going to L.A."
"...I think we already settled that."
"So you could, theoretically. Come back to my place."
"Um."
"If you wanted to."
"Casey."
"Yeah?"
"I may have seriously misjudged this situation."
"I'll let it slide just this once."
"Casey. Shut *up.* You're..."
"Yes."
"And you want to..."
"Yes. Although I have to tell you that being told to shut up is not a huge turn-on for me."
"Inform."
"Huh?"
"You used a form of 'tell' twice in the same sentence. I thought you might need some help with that."
"*That* is *not* something I need help with."
"Right. Yeah."
"Danny. You want to..."
"Yeah."
"While I'm still young, preferably."
"Let's go."
*
"Dan. Wake up."
"Mgmf."
"We have run-down meeting in an hour."
"I hate our job."
"You love our job."
"It has its perks, yes."
"...mmm. Danny."
"Do I need a breath mint?"
"No, but we only have..."
"Casey, I've known you for ten years. When are you going to pick up my habit of shirking responsibility?"
"You don't *shirk.* You avoid."
"Two words for the same thing, Casey."
"Right."
"Correct."
"Oh. Mmm...fuck."
"Copulate?"
"That's it, we're going to work. You're not wasting this kind of inspiration on me."
"..."
"Um. At least not until tonight."
"That's what I wanted to hear."