"Yeah, so, the Director told us what you guys were saying," Jackie said, leaning close, hand on one hip. She had a way of talking like she was chewing gum which should have been a big turn- off, but no, Vic was still staring at her full lips, the little quirk of her tongue. He needed to get his mind out of the gutter. Or just stop spending all his time with Mac.

Or both.

"What exactly did she say we were saying?" Mac said, eyes widening in a way that probably hadn't fooled anyone, ever, but it never seemed to stop him. They were in the training room at the agency, which was a little too brightly lit in Vic's opinion. You could see every little corner of every machine, and there was still no chance the room wasn't bugged.

"She said you were, like, talking about us girls. And how you like to watch us fight."

"What? Like we would ever say that." Mac scoffed loudly. Scoffing wasn't something Vic had encountered much before he'd taken this job. "Right, Vic?"

Vic neatly dodged an elbow in his side. "Right, no, that'd be totally--"

"--sexist. And wrong. And personally, I can't believe you would believe such an obvious *lie*-- "

"--we're really not that kind of--"

"--I mean, look at Vic. Have you ever seen a more clean-minded, upstanding man in all your life? He's practically a monk!"

"Hey! I am *not* a *monk,*" Vic said, grabbing Mac's shirt (which happened to be made out of some kind of mesh) and shoving him backwards with both fists. "And my mind is *not* clean."

That had clearly come out wrong, because Mac's eyes fluttered down to Vic's fingers, still clenched in the fabric that covered Mac's chest. "Oh *really?*" he said, and smirked in a way that totally negated his tirade about not being a pervert, and Jackie giggled, and Vic released him, quickly, wondering why he could never seem to just repress these things like other cops.

Jackie chose that moment to run her hand down his bare arm. "Anyway, it's not like I mind. Actually, I think it's pretty sexy when guys fight, too. Or, you know. Other stuff." And she sauntered off, swinging her hips and taking up a nearby mat with logic-defying stretches.

Shaking himself, Vic turned to find Mac doing the same thing. "Women."

"Hmm." Mac was still absorbed in thought, or whatever it was that he did that made his eyes glaze over like that. "Wonder if she's telling the truth."

"Stop wondering," Vic said firmly.

"No, really, I want to know."

"Too bad," Vic said, and was almost to the door when Mac snagged him by the back of his jeans. Turning, Vic saw a smile so bright and free of guile that Vic knew it meant bad news. "So, Vic...what're you doing later?"

"Something boring. By myself. Alone," Vic grunted.

Mac's smile didn't waver for an instant; he leaned closer, somehow managing to be inches away from every point of Vic's side without actually touching him. "Whatever you want," he breathed, almost directly into Vic's ear.

Vic covered his face with one hand, and sighed.

*

He didn't let up, either. It would have been too much to hope for. It wasn't like Vic was really upset by it--it seemed to be about one part experimenting with the minds of women, one part experimenting with the patience of Vic, and the rest was just Mac being...Mac. But he didn't let up.

Instead, he took the middle chair usually reserved for Li Anne, and rolled as close as the armrests would allow. "Get. Away from me," Vic growled, as Mac's hand moved restlessly in the direction of his right thigh. Gripping the edge of the desk, he slid himself stubbornly out of reach, only to be yanked right back.

"Jeez, Vic, what's the big deal?" Mac said, letting one hand fall on Vic's neck, the other preventing his escape. "You're so tense," he said, and started rubbing hard through Vic's shirt.

It had clearly been way too long since he'd had a massage, because this one felt so great that he almost forgot Mac was the one giving it. "Mmmm, yeah, right there--hey! Quit it!" He batted Mac's hand away and was answered with a wounded look.

"You never appreciate me the way you should, Vic."

"Will you just stop already? You're embarrassing yourself."

"Again?" Li Anne asked, sliding neatly into the third chair.

Vic let out a breath of relief: there was no way Mac could keep this up with their ex in the room. "Never mind," he muttered, and had managed to relax about a fraction of an inch before Mac's nail started making circles on his knee. "Gah!"

"Something wrong, Vic?" he said silkily.

"Christ, will you just--"

"Puppies!" the Director said loudly, entering, as always, without making any other kind of noise. "Sit. Stay."

They froze.

"Well, well, well...what do we have here?" She circled the desk and looked pointedly at Mac's hand, now resting determinedly on Vic's thigh. "Does one of you want to explain this little tableau?"

"Not even remotely," Mac told her, and for once, she seemed willing to let it drop, after a long glance that made Vic wonder if she could tell what underwear he had on. And if maybe he should invest in some made of lead.

*

Nothing got better once they were on assignment: Mac had loudly volunteered to work with Vic, and now they were surveying the street beneath their suspect's apartment from a thankfully dark, and undoubtedly filthy motel room. Keeping his eye on the door of the building across the street and trying to evade Mac at the same time was proving nearly impossible.

"You're mental," he spat, jerking away from the brush of Mac's fingers. "There isn't even anyone here to see you."

Mac raised a shadowed eyebrow.

"Fine, yeah, we're probably being monitored, I know. Still. Get away from me!"

They sat quietly for a couple of minutes. And then Mac touched the side of his neck, from his ear to his shoulder, so lightly that it made him shudder.

So, Vic punched him. Not exactly professional, but then, when were they ever?

The really surprising thing was that Mac didn't just hit him right back; he leaned over, barely moving out of Vic's space, hand over one eye. "Fuck! Was that really necessary, Vic? God, try to be *nice* to a guy--"

The logic of that statement notwithstanding, Vic could tell he was winding himself up for a long speech, so he told Mac to watch the damn window for five seconds and went out into the hall to get some ice. When he got back, Mac was completely silent, arms folded and twitching over his chest.

"Here," Vic said, holding out the cool ice bucket. "Put this on your eye."

Mac took the bucket and held it to his face, without looking at Vic. "You're a jerk."

"Well, you're the one molesting me in the workplace," Vic pointed out.

"You didn't have to hit me."

Vic grinned. "Nah, but it was fun."

"Ha ha ha. My eye *hurts,* Vic."

"So, you gonna stop--coming on to me now?"

"Sure, Vic."

"...somehow I'm not convinced."

"Smart man, Vic. Smart man."

*

It wasn't necessarily weird that Mac was going out of his way to annoy Vic, Li Anne thought. It was just, they way they stood, close together, Mac always leaning in and touching Vic all the time like Li Anne hadn't spent the whole year trying to get the two of them to get along. Vic, for his part, seemed to be ignoring it pretty well, at least after the night that Mac turned up with a black eye.

The whole thing was so disturbing that she considered asking Nathan about it, but since it had nothing to do with the Queen or international conspiracies (she hoped) it was probably better to go to someone with a more mundane viewpoint.

She tried just asking Mac first, of course, but he wouldn't even admit that there *was* something going on, not even with his hand practically in Vic's back pocket at the time. Vic was equally uncommunicative, and the Director actually *giggled* when Li Anne brought it up.

After throwing Nathan (gently) out of the research room, she was rocking back and forth in one of the chairs there, fuming silently. She jumped a mile when someone dropped their hands suddenly onto her shoulders. "Hey!"

"Gotcha," Jackie said into her ear, squeezing her fingers a little before releasing Li Anne and sitting down next to her. "So, what's on your mind."

"Nothing."

"Yuh-huh."

"I really don't think I want to talk about it with you, okay?" Li Anne said, and really, she was being polite. It was polite if you weren't actually edging away from someone while talking to them, right?

Jackie flashed her a self-satisfied smile. "You're weirded out by Mac and Vic, aren't you?"

"No." Li Anne crossed her arms and tapped her fingers against her elbows. "It's just, I don't know. Mac's not gay, he would have told me if he was. Vic, too, I thought--"

Jackie snorted. Very unattractively, Li Anne noted. "Shyeah, so, why're they all over each other?"

"I was hoping someone else could explain it to me."

"Well, when two gay men love each other very much," Jackie began, snickering.

"Shut up. This is really weirding me out."

"And here I thought you were *so* open minded," Jackie said, somehow managing to make it sound like an insult. "But hey, not everyone is comfortable with homosexuality."

"What? I'm--I am totally comfortable with it. It's just that it's Mac and Vic, that's all."

"So you have no problem with, like, gayness?" Jackie eyed her sideways.

Li Anne spread her hands expansively. "Why would I have a problem?"

Jackie's smile was genuinely pleased, and predatory. "Interesting."

"What--no. No. Just no." Li Anne stood up quickly, but Jackie followed, sliding one hand into the bare skin of her hip between her shirt and pants. "Uh--"

"You said you didn't have a problem," Jackie breathed, heating Li Anne's mouth.

"Yeah, but I didn't mean--"

Jackie's hand was on her stomach now, sliding up over her shirt, slowly but relentlessly. "Hm?"

"I really don't--" Jackie's hand reached her breast, and it was way too warm, and it had been a *really* long time. "What the hell," she murmured, and pushed Jackie back onto the table.

*

They hadn't been settled in the stake-out van long enough for Vic's coffee to get cold, and Mac was already breathing down his neck. Literally.

"Will you cut that out? I'm trying to work here!" He shoved Mac back to his side of the cab.

"Victor," Mac said seriously, "have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes look in the moonlight?"

Vic turned to stare at him, caught between laughter and a gagging fit. "What is *wrong* with you?"

"Whoa, might want to work on that self-esteem."

"My self-esteem is fine," Vic told him. "Now shut up."

Mac was quiet, but somehow Vic could feel him staring. It was like someone was actually touching his face, carefully and thoughtfully. It felt...prickly.

"Okay, that's it," Vic said after a few minutes. He unbuckled his seatbelt and looked directly into Mac's eyes, which were in so much shadow that he could make even less of them than usual. Tucking his fingers under Mac's chin, he watched them change, and then fall closed as Vic leaned forward to kiss him.

"Fuck," Mac said after a long moment, which had started out gentle but ended up just like everything else between them: rough and competitive and somehow still not at all unpleasant. "You--huh." He laughed nervously. "I didn't know you--"

"Well, I do," Vic told him, jerking Mac's head back around so that Mac was facing him again.

Mac's hand came up to cover Vic's, his eyes narrowing. "This had better not be a trick."

"That's really more your department than mine, isn't it? And anyway, you've been hitting on me all week, what did you expect to happen?" He ran the backs of his fingers over Mac's jaw.

Swallowing audibly, Mac said, "Well, I didn't--didn't think you'd come around so fast, Vic. Thought you'd need a few more days of my irresistible charm before..." He dropped his head and started biting at Vic's hand. "We done talking?"

"Mmm. Yeah. Charm, that's exactly what it is," Vic said, because he couldn't resist, and he kissed Mac, who let him get the last word, and didn't say anything smart-alecky for the rest of the stakeout.